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Guide: Willpower and Your Lack Thereof
Willpower is this alleged mythical force that separates us mortals from our dreams of six-pack abs and wealth beyond measure. You’ve heard of it, you vaguely…
Breaking News: Men Shocked to Discover Women Have Opinions Without Their Permission
Nobody could believe it and yet it is true – men across the nation have been left in shock as they get acquainted with the radical…
Interview: Man Refuses to Wear Costume, Claims He’s ‘Already Dead Inside’
Hell, Michigan – This Halloween season, locals are perplexed by one among them who stands alone in his steadfast rejection of costumes, citing an unexpectedly bleak…
Breaking: Scientists Decrease Thermometers by 3 Degrees, Solve Climate Change
Scientists worldwide have collectively agreed to lower thermometers by a cool 3 degrees Celsius, or 5.4 degrees Fahrenheit. Yes, you read right: climate change, that annoying…
Local Man Refuses to Switch to Winter Time, Declares War on “Big Clock”
This is an act of rebellion that nobody would have ever thought witnessing: Greg Allen, a 42-year-old accountant from Milwaukee, has announced that he will no…
Guide: ADHD, How to Function When Your Brain is a Pinball Machine
Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’ve likely realized that your brain isn’t quite the sleek, streamlined jet engine of focus that society expects. Nope, instead, you’ve…
