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Breaking: Americans Accidentally Exercise Democracy
GOP officials call for urgent investigation after millions of voters appear to have misunderstood the purpose of elections. WASHINGTON, D.C. — Republican officials are demanding an…
Guide: Accept Yourself
Hello there, welcome… Don’t get hyped up, I don’t mean this in the warm sense, more like the resigned nod you give someone who’s clearly staying.…
Being an Adult – An Honest Review
Alright let’s not waste any of your time because you need to go back to doing absolutely nothing constructive: being an adult sucks. If you don’t…
Guide: Your Twenties
Welcome to the Decade of Disappointment The twenties are that magical span of time where you’re supposed to find yourself, build a career, fall in love,…
Breaking: Girlfriend Who Said “I’m Fine” Was Actually Fine
World leaders are considering convening an emergency summit while boyfriends everywhere are left trembling in uncertainty… A Catastrophic Breach in Relationship Protocol Around dinner time last…
Interview: Confessions of an Honest Politician
In a rare moment of professional integrity, a well-known politician agreed to an interview with that one condition: he’d actually tell the truth. No aides, no…
