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Breaking: Santa Confirms You’re on the Naughty List
As Christmas approaches, Santa Claus himself has confirmed that you, yes YOU, are officially on the Naughty List this year. The news broke earlier today when…
Guide: Live Like a Perfect Human Being
Well, well, well, look who’s still trying to figure out how to live their life. Pathetic, really. But fear naught, because society’s got your back with…
Breaking: You’re An Asshole
Today marks the day of a not-so-groundbreaking revelation; what everyone has been suspecting for ages is now official: you’re a top of the line, industrial-grade, vacuum-sealed,…
An Ode to Coffee
Coffee is love, coffee is life. That pretty much sums it up but let’s dig deeper. Coffee is that caffeinated elixir that turns your blobby half-dead…
The Myths of Minimalism: Owning One Fork Won’t Make You Enlightened
You know minimalism, right? That seductive lifestyle trend promising spiritual clarity, financial freedom and the smug satisfaction of living with fewer possessions than a Buddhist monk…
Breaking: Man Told to “Get Over It” Actually Gets Over It
Experts are calling this a once-in-a-millennium event: a 32-year-old man from Tallahassee, Florida, has defied the very laws of human stubbornness by actually “getting over it”…
