In a rare and slightly awkward celestial press conference, God, the Almighty Creator, agreed to sit down for an exclusive interview to address His ongoing thoughts about humanity and Earth in general. With over a few millennia of watching things unfold, it seems the divine patience has been pushed to its holy limit. "It’s not like I expected perfection," God admitted, rubbing His temples as if an eternity of listening to human prayers had finally…

In what experts are calling the "most underwhelming alien abduction in history," local man Trevor Dullard, 37, claims he was abducted by extraterrestrial beings last Thursday night. However, in a twist no one saw coming - except maybe his wife - the aliens returned Trevor to Earth within just two hours, citing that he was, in their words, “insufferably annoying.” "I thought I was chosen, you know? Special,” Trevor told us, wearing his Star Wars…