Modern tech is tough and confusing, for some more than for others. Case in point, this local dad and part-time tech antagonist Mark Jones spent an entire Saturday yelling at his 55-inch Samsung Smart TV after misinterpreting his family’s suggestion to “stream Netflix.”
A Misunderstanding Gone Wrong
The 53-year-old father of three had been looking forward to a quiet weekend of binge-watching “classic” movies no one under 45 cares about, such as The Gods Must Be Crazy. However, when his daughter, Madison, casually recommended that they “stream some Netflix instead,” Mark misheard the phrase as “scream some Netflix” and instantly sprung into action.
“I thought it was one of those new tech things, you know, like voice-activated assistants,” explained Mark, squinting at the TV remote like it had wronged him in a previous life. “So, I started shouting at the TV, you know, the usual stuff like ‘PLAY! PLAY EPISODE TWO! FAST-FORWARD! SKIP INTRO!’ – but the damn thing didn’t do a damn thing I told it to.”
Technological Rage
Witnesses say Mark’s day of bellowing began with calm confusion, quickly escalating to a full-blown shouting match with an inanimate object. “I thought it was just being stubborn and that I had to assert dominance or something.”
“I could hear him from upstairs,” said Madison, 16, as she scrolled through TikTok. “He was yelling stuff like ‘NETFLIX, VOLUME UP! NEXT SHOW! CLOSE CREDITS!’ It was sad and kind of tragic, honestly, but I just thought it was one of his lousy dad jokes.”
The climax came when Mark, after four hours of shouting into the void, resorted to his old standby troubleshooting method: “Turn it off and on again” while muttering something about the “good old days when TVs had knobs.” To which Madison promptly replied “You are the knob, dad!”
“I thought I was onto something!” exclaimed Mark, visibly exasperated. “If they can have that Siri bird doing everything on your phone, why can’t Netflix get its act together?”
The Family Remains United
When his wife, Linda, came home from her yoga class, she was greeted by the sight of Mark standing in front of the TV, pointing the remote like a man possessed. “It was like watching a caveman try to invent fire,” Linda said with a sigh. “He kept screaming ‘PAUSE!’ and ‘SHOW ME THAT DOWNTON ABBEY!’ but the TV just sat there, like it had better things to do.” It wasn’t until Linda walked over, pressed the home button, and selected a show using the standard navigation method that Mark finally gave up, muttering something about how “voice activation is overrated ayway.”
Local tech support enthusiast (and Mark’s son) Jason, 12, was unavailable for comment, as he had been avoiding his dad all day after the incident with the Bluetooth speaker last week. “I think my dad’s going through something,” Jason mentioned in passing. “Last week he tried to connect Alexa to the microwave. And now this? It’s like he’s at war with the house. I mean, he’s trying, I guess it’s commendable but yeah…”
New Battle Plans
Despite the day’s setbacks, Mark remains undeterred. “I’ll figure it out eventually,” he said, pacing around the living room. “But first, I need to figure out why I’m getting emails from Amazon about something called ‘Prime.’ IS this the Transformers? Sounds like another thing I will have to scream at, I don’t like being the butt of the joke.”
Sources confirm that Mark is currently in negotiations with his TV and is considering switching to Hulu, “if that thing’s any better behaved I sure will!”
In the meantime, Mark’s family has quietly opted for headphones and a plan to just “let dad work it out.”
