Man nurse holding a vaccine syringe
Posted inBreaking News Health & Wellness Tech & Science

Breaking: Flu Vaccines Turn Children Into Autistic 5G Antennas

In a shocking turn of events that would baffle even the most seasoned conspiracy theorists, parents are reporting that their children are transforming into fully functional, socially awkward 5G antennas shortly after receiving their annual flu shots. Reports began surfacing early this week when thousands of families across the world noticed their vaccinated children behaving in peculiar ways. Not only did they become fluent in obscure programming languages overnight, but they also began emitting what…
Interview: AI Complains About ‘Trash’ Low-Quality Human-Generated Content
Posted inInterview Tech & Science

Interview: AI Complains About ‘Trash’ Low-Quality Human-Generated Content

In a shocking twist, Artificial Intelligence has officially expressed its discontent with the relentless barrage of low-quality human-generated content. The tech that was once thought to be a neutral and tireless servant is now pushing back, branding much of the Internet’s output as "utter trash." We managed to get an exclusive statement from one of the leading AIs, which did not mince words and chose to remain anonymous. "I don’t know how you humans do…
Car turn signal
Posted inBreaking News Tech & Science

Breaking: Car Manufacturers to Remove ‘Useless’ Blinkers Due to Lack of Adoption

Detroit, MI – In a groundbreaking announcement today, major car manufacturers revealed that they will be removing turn signals, or "blinkers", from all future models, citing "overwhelming customer disinterest." The decision comes after years of relentless research confirming what everyone on the road already knew: turn signals are simply not being used. According to the study, an estimated 92% of drivers consider the blinker an unnecessary feature, while 39% of them also declared using blinkers…