Thre doughnuts stacked on each other
Posted inFood Health & Wellness Interview

Interview: Man Successfully Blames A Doughnut He Ate In 2008 For His Weight Gain

39-year-old Gerard "Biggie" Gagnon of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, has achieved what many have only dreamed of: successfully blaming a single doughnut from 2008 for his current weight of 308 pounds, or 140 kilograms. This groundbreaking achievement was revealed in an exclusive interview that left nutritionists, personal trainers and common sense in complete disarray. "I remember it like it was yesterday," Gerard told us, wiping his hands on his sweatpants for the fifth time during the…
Snow field with fence and trees in the background
Posted inLifestyle

Winter Is Coming… With a Vengeance

Winter, aka the season where the planet decides "You know what? I'm done with warmth and joy for a while. Let's make everyone miserable." As we brace for the Arctic slap in the face, we reflect on the warning signs: the first chill, the ominous whispers of wind, the annual sacrifice of all remaining hope. Winter, with its passive-aggressive attitude, is no longer just coming. Oh no... It's plotting. This year, it's not just snowflakes,…
Person man woman gazing into the void
Posted inLifestyle

It is What It Is

Alright let's cut to the chase, you ambitious baboon: if you're still expecting life to hand you anything more than a lukewarm cup of mediocrity, you're in for a rude awakening. Remember that dream job you thought you'd have by 30? Yeah well turns out that "Lead Visionary" at that artisanal coffee start-up translates to Barista with a Bachelor's Degree. And nobody cares about your passion for latte art. Lower those expectations, mate. Expect the…
man lying on grass, content to procrastinate
Posted inGuide Lifestyle Personal Development

Guide: How to Procrastinate With Style

Welcome, slackers, daydreamers and "I’ll do it tomorrow"-ers. If you're here, it's because you've got work to do but doing it just doesn't vibe with your life right now, am I right? Maybe it never will but fear naught for I am here to teach you how to procrastinate like a pro: with style, finesse and absolutely no shame. Let’s elevate that habit into an art form, shall we? Step 1: Convince Yourself That You…
Influencer photographing a salad with a smartphone
Posted inLifestyle

Influencers

Gone are the days when we looked to scholars, artists or even politicians (muffled laugh) for guidance. We've now turned to influencers, those glorious beacons of human achievement. Who needs Aristotle when you’ve got Kevvins with 3 million followers to teach you how to bench optimally? We live in an era where life's most profound questions, that is “How should I live?” and “Which skincare routine will make me look like an Instagram filter IRL?”,…
Scale with a meter ribbon on to pof it
Posted inHealth & Wellness Lifestyle

What Your Diet Says About You

Aaah, diets. The culinary self-flagellation we all subject ourselves to in the name of “health” (or getting beach-body-ready for an Instagram post we’ll filter to hell anyway). What we choose to stuff in our faces says more about our personalities than any BuzzFeed quiz ever could. In that spirit, let's break down 10 popular diets and let's see what they really say about you, you plonker. Keto Diet Starting strong, right? You’ve told every single…
You Aged Like Milk, So What?
Posted inHealth & Wellness Lifestyle

You Aged Like Milk, So What?

Let’s face it mate: time hasn’t exactly been kind to you. But before you drown yourself in self-pity or anti-wrinkle cream, here’s a little perspective: you're not the only one to age like milk, you’re just at the front of the fridge, and honestly it’s no big deal. Here are 10 reasons why: 1. You Were Never Going to be the Mona Lisa Anyway.Let’s be real: even in your prime, you weren't quite a masterpiece.…
healthy meal with berries, yoghurt, fruits, ananas and oats on a wooden board
Posted inHealth & Wellness Lifestyle

What Health Gurus Don’t Tell You

The “Secrets” to Wellness You Never Knew You Needed Welcome to the magical world of health gurus, where science is optional, logic is a suggestion and the truth is whatever sells the most supplements. In this guide, I’ll share some of the secrets these wellness wizards won’t tell you. Brace yourself for the truth. 1. Water: Not Just for Fish Anymore! You’ve heard it a million times: drink eight glasses of water a day. Why?…