Woman Holding White Book
Posted inBreaking News Lifestyle Relationships

Breaking News: Men Shocked to Discover Women Have Opinions Without Their Permission

Nobody could believe it and yet it is true - men across the nation have been left in shock as they get acquainted with the radical concept that women, indeed, have thoughts, opinions and voices that don't require male endorsement. This revelation, apparently as unexpected as the switch to daylight saving time, has shaken the foundations of conversation dynamics everywhere, leaving many men bewildered and asking themselves, "But… when did this start?" A Harrowing Reality…
Black and White Portrait of Man with Catrina Makeup
Posted inInterview Lifestyle

Interview: Man Refuses to Wear Costume, Claims He’s ‘Already Dead Inside’

Hell, Michigan - This Halloween season, locals are perplexed by one among them who stands alone in his steadfast rejection of costumes, citing an unexpectedly bleak reason. Meet Stuart Grimbley, 34-year-old, who has become a viral sensation after declaring he’d skip the Halloween costume madness this year due to a simple fact: he's “already dead inside.” 'It's All Pointless' We caught up with Stuart, who agreed to an interview as long as it didn’t interfere…
The clock of the Big Ben building
Posted inInterview Lifestyle Politics

Local Man Refuses to Switch to Winter Time, Declares War on “Big Clock”

This is an act of rebellion that nobody would have ever thought witnessing: Greg Allen, a 42-year-old accountant from Milwaukee, has announced that he will no longer be participating in the biannual ritual of adjusting clocks for Daylight Saving Time. While most Americans and Europeans set their clocks back last weekend, getting their hour back after trading it in the name of tradition and proven useless energy-saving measures, Greg remains defiantly on “his own schedule,”…
messy table
Posted inGuide Lifestyle

Guide: ADHD, How to Function When Your Brain is a Pinball Machine

Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’ve likely realized that your brain isn’t quite the sleek, streamlined jet engine of focus that society expects. Nope, instead, you’ve been gifted with a mind that’s more like a blender without a lid where ideas, thoughts and distractions fly around at warp speed, covering everything in a sticky mess of chaos. Welcome to the wonderful world of ADHD, where starting 10 projects at once and finishing none is an…
Woman meditating in lotus position
Posted inBreaking News Health & Wellness Lifestyle

Woman Confuses ‘Mindfulness’ with ‘Mind Fullness,’ Memorizes Half of Wikipedia, Can’t Find Inner Peace

Experts are calling it "the most dedicated misunderstanding of all time": Jane Higgins has spent the last four years memorizing Wikipedia after confusing the concept of "mindfulness" with what she thought was "mind fullness." Instead of finding inner peace through meditation and awareness, she embarked on an exhausting mental binge that has brought her far from tranquility but left her capable of reciting the entire periodic table, listing every minor battle of the Napoleonic Wars…
Man in red shirt holding his face
Posted inGuide Lifestyle

Guide: Living with Anxiety

Welcome, you anxious disaster! If you’re reading this, it means you’ve officially given up on trying to fix yourself and have accepted that your life will be an endless loop of worrying about things that barely matter. Good, it’s about time you faced the facts: you’re a walking catastrophe with a mind like a hamster wheel of negativity, and there’s no way out. This guide right here is your ultimate survival kit for that pitiful…
Man holding a protein shake
Posted inBreaking News Lifestyle Sports & Fitness

Breaking: Bodybuilder Builds Muscle Without Protein

In a shocking turn of events that has left scientists, fitness gurus and your local gym bros scratching their heads, one bodybuilder has defied every rule in the book by building massive muscle — without consuming any protein whatsoever. Nate Flexington, a 28-year-old fitness enthusiast, has recently gone viral after claiming he has achieved his gargantuan physique with a diet entirely devoid of protein. That's right, zero gram of protein. Not whey, not eggs, not…
Blind man helped to read a book by woman
Posted inBreaking News Lifestyle Tech & Science

Breaking: Scientists Explain Why Men Can’t Find Anything on Their Own

In a groundbreaking study that has baffled researchers and confirmed the suspicions of women everywhere, scientists have finally cracked one of the universe’s most perplexing mysteries: why men, despite years of training and evolution, are completely incapable of finding anything on their own. The study has revealed a new phenomenon they’ve coined as “Male Pattern Blindness.” This condition apparently renders men physically unable to locate objects that are right in front of their faces. Lead…
Man passed out from drinking with friends
Posted inBreaking News Lifestyle

Breaking: Local Idiot Claims ‘Monkeys Are In Charge’ After Heavy Night Out

Liverpool, UK – The dire event has left the local pub’s early-morning crowd both amused and bewildered: local resident Gary "Gaz" Evans, 34, claims he has woken up on the set of Planet of the Apes "except it was real" after a “legendary” night out. Witnesses report that Gaz stumbled out of the local pub at approximately 10:12 p.m. after "more than a skinful" and an unsuccessful attempt to convince the bar staff that he…
Black wolf on green grass
Posted inInterview Lifestyle

Interview With a Sigma Male: The Lone Wolf Who Doesn’t Need Society but Will Explain It to You Anyway

In a world brimming with “alpha” this and “beta” that, one man stands apart - not above, mind you, just apart. Meet Chadley Steele, a self-proclaimed "Sigma Male" who, as he’s keen to remind us, operates on a plane so transcendent that society itself is irrelevant to his existence. Naturally, we had to hear from the man who thrives alone in the shadows, though apparently not too alone, given his robust presence on several internet…