Being an Adult – An Honest Review
Posted inLifestyle Review

Being an Adult – An Honest Review

Alright let's not waste any of your time because you need to go back to doing absolutely nothing constructive: being an adult sucks. If you don't agree with this statement it means you're either a child or a houseplant. In fact, the only things that suck more than being an adult are houseplants and children (in that order.) Lucky for you, I cover all the reasons why in this masterpiece of Internet literature, so read…
Girl holding 2 and 0 balloons
Posted inGuide Lifestyle

Guide: Your Twenties

Welcome to the Decade of Disappointment The twenties are that magical span of time where you’re supposed to find yourself, build a career, fall in love, develop a personality, maintain glowing skin, save for a house, become a global citizen and, somehow, eat enough fiber. You enter this decade with light in your eyes and exit it with back pain, regrets and a haunted look you picked up around 28. The thing about your twenties…
Guide: Moving, A Comprehensive Exercise in Human Misery
Posted inGuide Lifestyle

Guide: Moving, A Comprehensive Exercise in Human Misery

Moving house or apartment isn’t just a "task." It’s a modern-day endurance trial disguised as an act of personal growth, or just a sign that a few hundreds years ago you would have failed that "survival of the fittest" thingy. Somewhere between the first box and the fifth nervous breakdown, you’ll realize that sedentary civilization was a mistake and that minimalists might be onto something. But since you’re already knee-deep in cardboard and regret, let’s…
Interview: Man Shamelessly Uses Speakerphone in Public Transport
Posted inInterview Lifestyle

Interview: Man Shamelessly Uses Speakerphone in Public Transport

Darren Holcomb greets me with the same unapologetic smile he wore the day he became that guy on the subway. To him, the now-infamous seven minutes and fifty-two seconds of public speakerphone phone call were not a breach of etiquette but a "shared urban moment," a gift, really, to an otherwise “dead” commute. A Life-Enhancing Experience "I don’t see why people get so uptight," Holcomb says, settling into the café booth with the confidence of…
Guide: Become an Alpha Male
Posted inEducation Guide Lifestyle

Guide: Become an Alpha Male

So, you want to become an alpha male? The man so powerful he once won an argument with himself? The kind of specimen that doesn’t cry, doesn’t apologize and absolutely does not eat yogurt because "it’s a beta food"? Then you're at the right place. Now you have a choice: either you pay 18k for a 3-day "bootcamp" or you read this guide and venmo me later. Still here? Perfect. Now strap in, nerd, because…
Guide: You Are Burning Out
Posted inGuide Lifestyle

Guide: You Are Burning Out

Welcome to Your Downward Spiral So, you’re feeling chronically exhausted, unmotivated and mildly dead inside? Congratulations! You’re officially on the fast track to burnout, that wonderful condition where your body and mind simultaneously wave the white flag while you continue to push forward like the absolute moron that you are. But let’s not be dramatic, right? It’s just stress, just a busy period. The same busy period that’s been going on for the last six…
Guide: Mansplaining
Posted inGuide Lifestyle Relationships

Guide: Mansplaining

Congratulations, you mediocre pile of unwarranted confidence! You’ve decided to master the fine art of mansplaining, the time-honored tradition of telling people things they already know except louder, incorrectly and with a zest of condescension. This guide will help you hone your craft and ensure you’re the most insufferable person in any room, provided that's not already case. Step 0: The Art of Manning Before you can mansplain, you must first man. Cultivate an unshakeable…
Grayscale Photograph of Mans Hands
Posted inGuide Lifestyle

Guide: You Want Too Much

Let’s face it, you blob: you want too much. Every day, you’re out here with your grabby mindset, hoarding dreams, goals and unrealistic aspirations like a dragon sitting on a pile of gold that you’ll never use. It’s time to calm down, alright? So now please take a deep breath and realize that the problem isn’t the world - it’s you. Step 1: Admit It Do you really need a fulfilling career, enough sleep and…
Overworked Employee lying in front of Laptop
Posted inGuide Lifestyle

Guide: You’re Caring Too Much

For those of you who don't know, caring is that delightful social affliction where you convince yourself that other people’s lives, feelings and opinions matter more than they actually do. Are you suffering from the unbearable weight of giving a damn? Do you find yourself lying awake at night, wondering if your parents misinterpreted the tone of your last message or if the planet will melt into a puddle of sorrow because you weren't enthusiastic…
Fireworks
Posted inBreaking News Lifestyle

World Prepares to Ignore Same Resolutions for Another Year

As the clock and calendar are getting dangerously close to January 1st, midnight, billions of people worldwide are drafting eerily familiar lists of New Year’s resolutions, a.k.a. the exact same ones they’ve optimistically written, ignored and forgotten for more than a decade, as is tradition. From unrealistic fitness goals to improbable career changes, humanity is gearing up for its annual festival of ambition, denial and inevitable failure. The Universal Resolution Recycle: A Tradition of Futility…