Back in The Days: A Nostalgic Rant

Ah, the good old days. The days when life made sense and we didn’t have to worry about “Followers” or whatever the kids are calling it now. If you’re old like me then you will understand, if you’re not then buckle up because I’m about to take you down memory lane, and it’s paved with suffering and character-building.

No Cell Phones – We Just Hollered

Back in the days, if you wanted to talk to someone, you yelled. Across the street, across the yard, didn’t matter. You didn’t have a sleek device glued to your hand that beeps every two seconds like a malfunctioning Furby. Nope! We had voices, lungs, and if someone wasn’t around, guess what? You just didn’t talk to them. Imagine that, you TikTok zombies: silence.

We Walked to School – Uphill, Both Ways

I know, you’ve heard this one before, but listen here, you Gen Z pigeons, it’s the gospel truth. We walked, uphill, through a blizzard, while dodging wild animals and random neighborhood dogs that were always off their leashes. You think your Uber rides to school build character? Nah, mate, we earned our education by surviving a mini-Tour de France just to get to algebra. And we liked it!

TV Had 3 Channels, and We Watched ALL of Them

Back in the days, we didn’t have 12 streaming services with algorithmically curated content designed to cater to our every mood. No, we had three channels: one for the news, one for the weather and one for whatever random nonsense the government felt like broadcasting that day. Also cartoons. And we watched all of it as it came out, when it came out, if it came out! No binge-watching. If you missed your show, tough luck! We learned the value of patience, unlike you lot with your “skip intro” button. What’s the rush?

Dial-Up Internet Was Luxury

Speaking of the internet, we didn’t have your fancy, instant “5G, download a movie in 10 seconds” nonsense. No, we had dial-up. You’d connect and hear the sound of a robot dying a slow, painful death just to maybe check your email. And if someone picked up the phone while you were online? Well, forget it! You’d be cut off from the world. But we survived. No Instagram likes to validate our existence, just pure grit.

We Played Outside – Yes, Outside

Kids today wouldn’t last five minutes in the brutal wilderness that was the neighborhood. Back then, we played outside all day. We built forts, rode bikes without helmets because danger was a friend and if you broke a bone? Well, that was just a rite of passage. We didn’t have “screen time” or virtual pets; we had sticks, rocks and the distant threat of tetanus. And we were fine!

No Participation Trophies

Let me tell you something about losing: we did it all the time. I for one have never won anything in my entire life. No one coddled us or handed out trophies just for showing up. If you lost, you went home, cried into your pillow and hoped one day you would know what there was even to win. There was no “everybody’s a winner” mentality. Winners won, and losers… well, let’s say we learned how to get better. I’m not saying we actually got better, but you get the gist.

We Drank From the Hose

Now I know some of you fragile daisies might not believe this, but we drank water straight from the garden hose. That’s right. None of your fancy bottled water or hydration apps telling us when to drink. If we were thirsty, we found a hose, turned it on and hoped it wasn’t too hot. And we survived. You think your “filtered, electrolyte water” is making you stronger? What a joke, we drank hose water and thrived like feral animals.

So, next time you’re scrolling through your thousand-dollar phone while ordering overpriced organic coffee and complaining about the Wi-Fi signal, remember: back in the days, we lived on the edge. We survived harsh realities you couldn’t even imagine. And guess what? We turned out just fine. Well, mostly. Alright now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta figure out why my Wi-Fi is dropping every 5 minutes…

Pass it on, you legend!

Back in the Days: A Nostalgic Rant