As the clock and calendar are getting dangerously close to January 1st, midnight, billions of people worldwide are drafting eerily familiar lists of New Year’s resolutions, a.k.a. the exact same ones they’ve optimistically written, ignored and forgotten for more than a decade, as is tradition. From unrealistic fitness goals to improbable career changes, humanity is gearing up for its annual festival of ambition, denial and inevitable failure. The Universal Resolution Recycle: A Tradition of Futility…

As Christmas approaches, Santa Claus himself has confirmed that you, yes YOU, are officially on the Naughty List this year. The news broke earlier today when the big guy in red and white held a hastily arranged press conference at the North Pole, flanked by a squadron of grumpy elves and a visibly disappointed and judgemental Mrs. Claus. “After extensive surveillance and a thorough review of your behavior during the year 2024,” Santa announced while…

Experts are calling this a once-in-a-millennium event: a 32-year-old man from Tallahassee, Florida, has defied the very laws of human stubbornness by actually “getting over it” after being told to do so. The groundbreaking achievement has taken therapists by surprise, fed toxic comment sections as well as passive-aggressive family dinners worldwide. The man, identified as Gavin Lovitz, reportedly accomplished this emotional miracle last Wednesday during a heated argument over something that was gotten over so…